The Seven Gabemendmants:

  1. Thou shalt worship no other god but GabeN.
  2. You must be equipped with a crowbar in thy spirit and thy mind at all times.

    If you do not like the rules.

  3. Thou shalt pay thy fees on the sale that have been madeth on the Steam Market to GabeN. 
  4. The cake is a lie, it is a false profit, all who follow the cake shall be put unto eternal scamnation.
  5. No one but GabeN can use the gravity gun, unless ordained with the Saleshood.
  6. All who deny GabeN in the presence of others shall be denied by GabeN at the day of Final Sales
  7. Valve is the only Messiah.