The Seven Gabemendmants:
- Thou shalt worship no other god but GabeN.
- You must be equipped with a crowbar in thy spirit and thy mind at all times.
- Thou shalt pay thy fees on the sale that have been madeth on the Steam Market to GabeN.
- The cake is a lie, it is a false profit, all who follow the cake shall be put unto eternal scamnation.
- No one but GabeN can use the gravity gun, unless ordained with the Saleshood.
- All who deny GabeN in the presence of others shall be denied by GabeN at the day of Final Sales
- Valve is the only Messiah.